Concept
Mimetic Desire
desire imitation social-influence
The theory, popularized by author Luke Burgess in his book Wanting, that most of what people want isn't generated independently but copied from a model — a friend, an influencer, a rival — whose desire for a thing makes that thing desirable by association. Under this theory, nearly every purchase, career choice, or even choice of partner traces back to some other person's visible wanting, even though the person making the choice rarely recognizes or admits the influence, instead constructing a private rationale after the fact ("I bought these trainers because they're good quality").
Jon Evans illustrates the mechanism with a small, concrete example: sitting in Phill Agnew's podcast studio and abruptly wanting Agnew's microphone, purely because he'd just seen Agnew have and value it — a want with no origin except seeing someone else's. Burgess extends the theory even to naming a child, arguing the choice is shaped by what other names signal to others rather than by pure independent preference.
The theory is closely related to, but broader than, Social Proof: social proof is specifically about inferring correct behavior from what others do, while mimetic desire claims that the underlying wanting itself — not just the behavioral choice — is socially derived.
Re-cited as a year-end book recommendation (Episode 109), via the same shirt-shopping example already on file — no new figures or examples.
Discussed in
- Episode 109 — 5 things I learned from psychology experts in 2022 (year-end book recommendation)
- Episode 161 — 161-10-lessons-from-the-1-marketing-podcasters