Person
Chris Voss
Guest; former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator; author, Never Split the Difference
Retired FBI special agent and the Bureau's former lead international kidnapping negotiator, working over 150 international hostage cases across Iraq, Gaza, the Philippines, Colombia, and Haiti. Author of Never Split the Difference; teaches business negotiation at Georgetown, USC, and Harvard.
Episode 181 covers negotiation mistakes: strategic umbrage (using anger to force concessions), pushing for "yes" via stacked micro-agreements, overusing a counterpart's first name, and high anchoring — all of which Voss argues restrict a counterpart's autonomy and backfire in real (as opposed to simulated, one-off) negotiations (see Tactical Empathy (Negotiation Techniques)).
Episode 182 covers his core recommended techniques: mirroring (repeating a counterpart's last few words to prompt elaboration), calibrated "what"/"how" questions, using precise rather than round numbers, and — above all — preserving the other party's autonomy. Shares a real hostage case where reflexive mirroring got a manipulative bank robber to unintentionally implicate his getaway driver (see Voss Bank-Robbery Mirroring Case).
Re-cited in the 2024 year-end recap (Episode 218), naming the specific academic study behind the "strategic umbrage" critique — van Kleef, De Dreu, and Manstead's 2004 "Interpersonal Effects of Anger and Happiness in Negotiations" — and re-citing the Home Depot cabinet anecdote (see Strategic Umbrage Negotiation Study).
Discussed in
- Episode 181 — 181-fbi-hostage-negotiator-shares-his-worst-mistakes
- Episode 182 — 182-don-t-be-fooled-by-this-sales-trick-chris-voss
- Episode 218 — 218-the-best-of-nudge-in-2024 (names the 2004 anger-in-negotiation study)